comment t1_ewfup6u re: AITA for telling my ex I refuse to share custody of our daughter?
reddit (comment)
{ posted: Friday, 9 August, 2019 at 12:23pm // views: 30 // words: 229 }

NTA. You are absolutely 1,000,00,000% in the right. That said…

If he didn't sign anything, he's probably going to have at least some success in court.

Even if he doesn't, and you are able to keep him from gaining any level of parental rights, there's a decent chance that your daughter is going to become a typical pissed-off teenager and imagine the sperm donor she never met must surely be better than the evil witch who doesn't let her get her nose pierced and makes her eat broccoli. What are you going to do when she either insists on getting to spend time with him, or goes around your back and somehow connects with him online?

Obviously there's nothing you can do about that, and it may be wisest just to cross that bridge when you come to it, but from a purely pragmatic point-of-view, I can't help wondering whether it might be better for you and your daughter to allow some level of limited contact while you're in a better position to control it, manage her expectations, etc…

I'm sorry you're in such an awful position. At the end of the day you should do what's best and feels right for you. While your ex may not have lost his legal rights to fatherhood, I don't think there's any question he's forfeited any moral ones.

[context: PMcCullough @ reddit]